Regret
by Fluffymausi-chan
Summary: She didn't know about his condition and maybe she had hoped for the better.  But that didn't change the fact that she wanted to see him...  Raven/Charles


_Hey there. _

_I really loved the X-Men - First Class movie and escpecially the relationship between Charles and Raven._

_I hoped they would stay together but the ending only created room for more fantasy :)_

_Hope you enjoy it._

_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters!  
><em>

_Bye your FMc :) (^-^)/_

* * *

><p><strong>Regret<strong>

„Mutant and proud…that's what you were always telling me."

Her whisper was taken away by the wind and she glanced thoughtfully at her blue hand. What had happened to cause such an outcome? Raven alias Mystique closed her eyes with a deep sigh. Even though she had asked him to never read her thoughts with his ability, she now wished that he knew about her inner chaos. But she would never know if he was aware of her emotions. They had lived together like a little family, always supporting each other and being there for one another. Maybe because they have both been mutants but their strong bond had also been a reason for her to stay with him.

But somehow over the years there had been changes. She had noticed them late and because of his promise to never read her thoughts, he hadn't known. It had been a stupid promise. After seeing him bringing different women home, she had begun to feel uneasy around him. Raven had always been on the edge with her nerves and had snapped at Charles for stupid reasons. For example, she had been throwing a tantrum because he had forgotten to turn off the lights in the kitchen. Their fights had been stupid, unfounded and childish. But that hadn't changed the fact that they had been growing apart. Even though they had liked each other, she had always envied him for looking "normal". Charles didn't have to hide. His mutation was not visible, unlike her one. Her blue hand went through her red hair and she studied her reflection in the window she was looking through. Her yellow eyes mustered her appearance but soon closed again.

But the price for accepting herself as a mutant had been high. She had left Charles to follow Erik in order to fight for the rights of mutants and against the humans. Had it been her right choice? Even after going through her last choice over and over again, she still felt unsure about doing the right thing.

Her yellow eyes opened again and she sighed again heavily. Biting her lower lip she tried to ignore the nasty feeling of being alone and having betrayed her best friend… No. She had to correct herself. He had taught her to stay honest with herself. No lying to herself again. He was not her brother, nor was he her friend. He was her first love. So she breathed his name.

"Charles…"

It felt like a heavy burden was finally lifted from her shoulders. A broad smile formed on her blue lips and she felt like laughing. But it was not enough. There was still the nagging feeling that she had betrayed him. She had left him when he had needed her the most. The euphoria was soon replaced by the sudden urge to cry. Over and over there was the horrible nightmare when the bullet of that stupid CIA agent glanced off Erik's hand and hit Charles in the back. It had been an accident but it had changed everything. Charles had cried in agony while Erik had tried to take the bullet out with his magnetism ability. Even though Erik had achieved his goal by holding the bullet a few seconds later in his hand, the damage would never been healed. Raven had not known about the fact that Charles had been paralysed. She hadn't known that her best friend was now bound to a wheelchair and that he was facing the horrible memories alone. Raven had always thought that the woman, who had been at fault for his momentary condition in that goddam chair, would be at his site, but after doing some research she had found out that he had deleted the memories of the CIA agent. He was alone.

Taking a step back from the window she stuck her hands in her jacket pockets. A few seconds later she held a white envelop in her hands. She knew that she wanted to see him badly but she couldn't. Her heart was aching and hammering protesting against her ribcage. She wanted to hug him like when they had been kids. She wanted to apologize for having been so unbearable a few months ago. She wanted to breathe his scent and to caress his soft brown hair. But she couldn't. It would end in a disaster, since she had chosen her site…even though she regretted her decision by now.

Placing the letter on his working desk next to an old photo of him and their former group, she felt tears asking for exit. Why had he let her go? Why hadn't he tried to hold her back? She had wanted him to ask her to stay. But he hadn't. And now she was here, standing in his office room and not being able to face him. Maybe that was the reason she wrote him a letter instead of talking to him face to face.

A single tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed it hastily away before it could drop on the desk. Her head was filled with memories she linked with this place, this room, this entire house and this special person she had left behind. Walking silently to the window she had been looking through before. Her exit. Her fingers were shaking when she touched the knob to open the window again. But she was held back. Silent sobs shook her body and she forced herself to finally open it. Cold wind blew in the room.

"Your thoughts were so loud, I didn't even have to use my ability to hear you…"

A gentle voice came from the doorframe where the telepath sat in his wheelchair. He looked pale and overworked but all that vanished with the appearance of a lovely smile on his lips. She didn't know what to say. There he was: the man that she knew for so long and whom she loved. Not a single word was spoken and they just gazed at each other. His smile never left his lips and although she had originally thought that he would be angry at her for showing up, there was no hatred in his gentle blue eyes. He didn't hate her. Tears were finally flowing down her cheeks and she couldn't help but smile.

"Charles…"

It was only a barely whisper but she knew he had heard her.

* * *

><p><em>I hope you liked it. :)<em>

_Seeya your FMC :) (^-^)/_


End file.
